Let’s Talk Romance

1 year ago AuthorJasonOrtiz 0


Romance is kind of like a great way people can balance each other.  This can come about in different ways that are probably already happening in your relationship.  You probably haven’t been able to identify it.  Think about what has changed about your since you committed to your partner.  I’m sure things have changed quite a bit.  Now think about how much hasn’t changed since you committed.  You can probably say that quite a bit hasn’t changed as well. 

In this journey of commitment, you may feel weird in some way when you think about surrendering your love for your spouse.  Do not feel weird, that is a very normal feeling to have. Loving someone (despite whoever hurt you in past relationships) is not about losing control. Never forget that you can always lose yourself in that love without risking losing your individuality. This also goes towards change. You can also allow yourself to embrace change without losing what it is about you that makes you unique.  It is about compromise.

Compromise is always possible without having to give up who you are.  Growth is always there for you and it never has to mean growing apart. Your relationship will have disagreements and you can do so without arguments.  You should learn to allow yourself to experience emotion and feelings without losing control of yourself. 

It is really about opening up who you truly are. Your partner cannot know who you truly are unless you open up your heart in totality.  You cannot be a successful participant in a loving relationship without being vulnerable.  Being intimate comes with a risk even if you are with your partner and you must be willing to face that risk.

The point of romance is for you both to grow together in intimacy and in love.  You must and find and continue to learn about your spouse and what makes your individual relationship work without outside interference. 

Law of Romance

One of the most important rules of romance is that your relationship should come first in your life.  In an era where everyone is throwing around foolishness like “trust no one”, “I don’t need a relationship”, “I am only focused on my hustle”, there has to be a voice of reason.

Now, I am not forcing a relationship into your life, but there comes a point when it is far healthier to create a balance with a series of things than to eliminate the options of relationships because of fear, misery or a false sense of popularity.

Now, this may be a difficult concept for those who have put so much time and effort into your career/entrepreneurship, but when you are retired or passed down the business to someone else and cuddling with your spouse at the end of your days, you probably won’t be wishing you had spent more time at work. 

When you learn to honor a relationship, you tend to learn that things in your life can be motivated from your relationship. Things you do should be because of your marriage and the love you share with your spouse. Now, this doesn’t mean losing yourself but it offers a higher purpose when you both loyally can honor commitments, not only to each other but also to self.

When adopting this way of thinking, please do not get it mixed up with being the one in your relationship who always suffers for the sake of principle. That isn’t what making a healthy home, a committed relationship is about and ultimately it will hurt your relationship.  A good relationship consists of two people who always support and encourage each other in both the dreams of the union and the dreams of the individuals.

Bringing romance into your relationship, is crucial but more so crucial that you understand it is your spouse who defines what is romantic. You can buy diamonds, paint pictures, give chocolates or even flowers but it won’t do a thing for your marriage if your partner doesn’t like chocolate, flowers and jewelry. This is where you must take time to learn about your partners romantic side, for the sake of their pleasures and the pleasures of the relationship in totality. Pay attention to likes and dislikes. There’s no point in cooking a special meal all day long if your partner has a strong craving for chicken wings. It’s about being in the know and being aware.

Romance doesn’t always mean presenting gifts and although they are beautiful gestures, especially if they are something he or she can truly appreciate but you cannot use to or expect them to compensate for some of the more important romantic gestures in a relationship with each other.  It is also important to recognize that special time with each other doesn’t mean going out and doing things each weekend either. The quality of time together is determined by the union and the engagement in the union. Spending times together on the sofa watching television, chatting and laughing or simply not rushing through dinner and enjoy each other’s company is very romantic. Give simplicity accompanied with sincerity a try and you’ll see how romantic simple time together can truly be.

Make Romance Great Again

Learn to create a home that is loving and also your very own romantic getaway for you both. Always keep a number of items that you can pull out and use to help transform your home into a romantic hideaway. Keep these items boxed away for those special nights, for a weekly night or even random surprise coming home from a hard day at work type of nights. You can have anything in them from romantic scented candles, flowers, music, wine or whatever you can think of but it should be what you both find romantic as a unit or have a special box for your partner that she/he doesn’t know about with items specially catered to what they deem romantic and surprise them at home with it.

Some relationships that have arguing at home as a norm can make it so draining to even return home from work. It can take a toll to walk through the front door because you are just expecting some type of annoyance or drama and that is incredibly unhealthy. What if you change this completely and your partner wants to come home to you? What if with these slight surprises, you alter the entire dynamic of what home feels like? This is possible with slight alterations.

At this moment you might start thinking about some exciting romantic ideas and suggestions which are going through your head, but it is important to remember that romance shouldn’t be rushed or thrown on all at once.  You do not want to lose the intentions behind your moves because it can and most likely will be lost or misinterpreted. Romance is best when you don’t misrepresent yourself or who you are to your partner, even if that means starting all over again with the basics and progressing a step at a time.

Do not overcomplicate things. Romance is simple once you realize that it’s simply about taking action on how you feel towards your spouse. Remember that love is a feeling, your partner can’t see the proof in the emotion because it is something that isn’t tangible and can be seen or touched but instead it is felt and you feel the love for your partner. The romance is the action that comes about as a result of that very love.  Let your romance start as a new attitude with the right intentions, then allow it to grow beyond that. This is where in action you must be able to show your partner how much you love him or her through actions in words, presents, gentle caresses and more.

Once you become a beginning romantic and you grow well into your romantic thought processes, you will find that your partner is truly appreciative of all the little things that you do for him or her.  It’s in those small things that you have added to your daily lives making sure he or she knows their loved before anything else is said or the phone call/text for no particular reason other than to tell them that they are on your mind. These small actions linger with the other person longer and have more of an impact than expensive, materialistic gifts.

As you and your partner begin exploring your more romantic sides and you both offer new and creative ways in which to express your love for one another, you are going to realize that you are going to want to cherish these memories and thats why you should consider a memory chest of sorts.

This doesn’t have to include photos, but instead, items from those romantic moments that will immediately spark a great memory and maybe even re-live the moment if you know what I mean. These revisiting memories are incredibly healthy for relationships and is something I highly recommend.  

Never overlook the fact that your partner is the best resource you have for romantic creativity.  He or she most likely may have already been giving you signs and hints.  Be receptive in discovering entire new ways in which to enhance romance with your partner. Never stop listening, always pay attention. The process of learning about your partners romantic side, your romantic side and your romantic interests and a union should never end.

Best of luck forward. I’d love to hear about some of your great new adventures.’

Instagram: @Jason.M.Ortiz

Facebook: Relationship Super Guy

Twitter: Super Dad Jason