Basic & Overlooked Communication Tips
8 months ago AuthorJasonOrtiz 0
Ideally, we all want open, honest, healthy communication in our relationships. Now, before you take steps to improve the communication in your relationship, you have to be aware that not everyone has the same exact preferences of communication as you do. Some people express themselves better through acts of affection as opposed to words of affection. Some respond better by giving gifts, not because they are buying you but because in their individual journey, this was how they interpreted meaningful communication.
It is your job to know about your partner exactly what type of communication best comforts them. I am very sure you know what communication style you prefer and there will be times that your preference in which you choose to express yourself should take lead, but wanting your partner to express him or herself is best on their terms and you should learn them.
You may not be fully aware, but your partner may have been telling you what they need without you realizing it and your partner may assume you know what they mean. This is where communication and learning each other’s best forms of communication come into play.
The problem with not learning your partner’s means of most effective communication is that you may not seize the opportunity to enhance intimacy, trust and openness and without those, you are slowly allowing frustration into your relationship.
If something is bothering you and you feel the need to talk about it, it would always be best to find the right time to do so. If your partner is dealing with something, has extra stress from work, just experience a loss in his or her family, you may want to consider those things when wanting to discuss certain things. You do not want to be insensitive and you do not want to push them further into distress or anger, plus, you don’t want to lose the value in which you want to discuss due to them being distracted by other events that are hurting them.
Another thing to consider is how you express yourself. Do not attack them, instead, express how you feel about things. Never assume the reason your partner has or has not done something. You honestly don’t know the reason and should be mature enough to inquire without accusation.
Make sure you discuss things face to face. If the topic of discussion can impact the relationship, it should be done respectfully in person.
Learn how to compose body language as well. Sometimes, one’s stance can be intimidating and give off the wrong message that may not coincide with the words. Show respect to your partner and to the relationship by working towards making your body language coincide with your words, and, that should always be respectfully.
If you are angry, and that will happen at some point in every relationship, understand that it is ok to get angry. That is a human emotion that has occurred throughout our lives. It’s important to know that if you are angry, that is not the time to have a healthy discussion about issues in the relationship.
Take a moment to pause. Breathe and take a healthy step away from the situation. It’s wise to let your partner know that you need to take a short break before going any further into the conversation. Whatever it is that often calms you down, a book, TV, playing a game, whatever it is, then engage in that until the anger subsides enough that you get a chance to enter the discussion with a clear and level head. You don’t want the situation to escalate when there is no need for that.
Identify what was it that has gotten you so angered. Was it the way your partner spoke to you, was it something they did? Figure out what it was and express those feelings. As much as you want to say something, invest more time into listening and avoid the eagerness to want to respond. That eagerness often takes away the ability to obtain and absorb important information and clues given by your partner. Communicating isn’t always easy, but it can progressively improve. In the beginning, some of these tips may feel awkward or comes across as not your natural self, but they will help you communicate better and build the healthy relationship you both deserve.