My Husband Has E.D.
8 months ago AuthorJasonOrtiz 1
My husband of 12 years has erectile dysfunction and has so for the last year. We have dated for 3 years before we got married and it has been a great 14 out of 15 years of my life. This last year has been really complicated and one that I am struggling to deal with.
In the beginning of the ED, he was really ashamed and went to the doctor quickly. We are very (or were) sexual with each other and it has not been the same the last 12 months or so.
I want to say that I have no intention of cheating and never have cheated. I think that is never the answer and he has never done anything to make me want another man. What is worse about this is how he mopes around. I see the depression in him, and he is not so willing to discuss it. He has tried different pills, pumps and now is on a new diet.
The diet is new so I don’t know if it will work yet but I want this for him even more than I want it for me (and I really want him back).
I do see moments where he is able to maintain erection for a longer period than usual and it is fulfilling, it’s just the moments it isn’t, it seems to really hurt him and it changes him from his joyful proud self to a shell of that.
I don’t want to be too imposing but what can I do to help him because leaving is not an option. I married for better or worse.
I think you are to be commended for you diligence in remaining by his side and refusal to step outside the home. Marriage is definitely something everyone who takes the vow should remember as you stated, “for better or worse”.
With that being said, I think he needs a complete bloodwork up from the doctor to check sugar levels and high blood pressure because that can be a cause of E.D.
I would suggest toys, but I am getting the feeling this would not improve his inner feelings about things, however, finding the right toy can. I think this is something you can research.
Remind him often why it is you married him and why you are never leaving his side. Commend him when he does good and randomly service him orally without wanting anything in return. Grab his penis and jerk it occasionally for absolutely no reason at all other than you want him to erupt on your hand. Kiss him a little more than you have lately.
Now, here are some things he can do with you, one, you can increase taking walks together. There is a Harvard study that states that with just 30 minutes of walking a day, there was a reportedly 41% drop in risk for E.D.
Another thing to do is to continue the diet he started, as males age, diet is more important when it comes to E.D. Fewer red meats, increase fruits vegetables, fish and whole grains. Stay away from processed meats.
A slim waist is important in the reduction of E.D. with many studies showings that a man with 42-inch waist is more likely to suffer from E.D. than a man with a 32-inch waist. Obesity heightens chances of diabetes and vascular disease, both are major causes of E.D.
If he smokes, he must quit, not cut down but quit. If he drinks, he has to cut down, quitting would be ideal.
Have the doctors also check his testosterone levels and follow diets that increase testosterone if needed. Also, if there are new life stressors he is dealing with, like a demotion at work, financial stress, illness with a loved one or many other possibilities, these psychological stressors can boost levels of hormone adrenaline which can be bad for erections.
Collectively, these changes can have a real positive impact on his erection and in your relationship. When he is dealing with dietary changes, it is always important to support him. If he is a smoker and is quitting, you might want to refrain from smoking around him.
If he is cutting off cakes and cookies, you should pull back from eating them or keeping them around him. This is a great way to support him back to the old him.
Best of luck, I’d love to hear about any progress.